[This is a small extension of a response I once made to
someone who was considering using present tense narrative for his YA fiction
novel but was having trouble deciding. I eventually asked him to stick to the
conventional past tense narrative, and I thought the advice I gave may also be
useful for other people considering this format. Of course, you can find a lot
of articles on the internet about this issue and about different narrative
styles in general, but I had a rather different slant to it. Please feel free
to comment if you have any disagreements or further suggestions.]
Regarding the narrative tense: I know that present tense
narrative seems attractive especially when you are writing a horror or
thriller. It seems to make the events more ‘real’ or vivid as though the reader
is seeing them in real time. But the problem is that too much vividness can
actually make a story seem less real. The method only works for certain types of
stories. There is a reason why fiction is usually told in past tense: readers
like to feel as if they are reading about an actual event that actually
happened. The past tense format thus helps in suspension of disbelief by
providing this feeling.
Present tense format can still seem realistic and effective as long
as the story is told in a way that is poetic or rhythmic. The story has to have
a certain narrative beauty to it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be flowery
language (purple prose); there are other ways of having narrative beauty.
Stories like that are fitting for present tense because it looks to the reader
as if the author wants to convey a real event that actually happened in a
poetic way (due to the nature of the event). One exception to that would be a
story where the narrator dies in the end.* Usually, for that to make sense, it
has to be present tense narrative. But such stories usually tend to be poetic
anyway.
In your case, it seems that you are writing a normal young adult
horror novel. There isn’t any particular concern about poetic or rhythmic
writing. The writing seems pretty straightforward. Therefore I would suggest
you stick to past tense. It’s better that way.
*One example of this is the story ‘Understand’ by Ted
Chiang. Highly recommended read.
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